Monday, April 27, 2015

[Satire] Virat Kohli writes an open letter. Claims he has never abused anyone.

In a sensational, sentimental, free-wheeling and very personal open letter, Virat Kohli claims that he has always been misunderstood on and off the field because of his poor communication skills. Here is the full letter.
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A big hello to all my fans, enemies and frenemies. Of late, I have been in news for all reasons except my batting. Some were about Anushka, which I have already answered. Some are about my abusive nature on and off the field. I intend to clarify those in this letter.

I was accused of abusing a HT journalist in Australia during the ICC world cup. I did not abuse him. Yes, I was angry and we had a heated exchange. He later claimed that I called him bhenc**d. All I said to him was Pen Chhod (पेन छोड़ ) in Hindi which means leave your pen. It has a subtle meaning. Too often, the journalists write articles without verifying the facts. They trust their sources and forget to check the ground realities. That's why I asked him to leave the pen and use his eyes to figure out the truth. Because I was angry, he heard bhenc**d and I received the entire blame.

Similarly, people say I said Maan ki c***t to the Bangladeshi bowler Rubel Hossain. Again, I didn't say it. I was angry since he was staring at me angrily. When I was a kid, I had a friend with whom I used to fight frequently. Sometimes he used to hit me and hide behind his mother. So I used to say Maan Ko Chhod (माँ को छोड़). Since then, it has become a reflexive response for me. If I am angrily fighting with someone, these words come out of my mouth on their own. I can't help it.

The last one is my recent collision with Dinesh Karthik. As everybody saw, we collided mid pitch as we were taking a run. People say I called him C***tiya. I just said Chhot Gaya (छूट गया ) in Hindi which means Thank God. I am saved. Now if some vested interests keep misinterpreting whatever I say, I can't help it. I am writing this letter as I have received a stern warning from Anushka for my supposedly abusive nature. So, please don't spread these false rumors about me.

To all the the journalists reading this - Pen Chhod.

Also published here.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Dr. Zakir Naik - criticism

One thing I must admit is that Dr. Zakir Naik has become the equivalent of a religious rockstar of modern times. His study and memorization of various religions including Hinduism is highly impressive.

And of course, he is a great believer in Islam and I am sure he has been able to convert many people to his faith.

But, should people start believing in Islam and disbelieving in other religions just because a great scholar has appeared out of nowhere and asking them to embrace Islam? There are many fundamental problems about converting to or believing in any religion especially Islam.

Empirical evidence  - He claims that Islam is the most logical and scientific religion on earth right now. For the sake of argument, let's accept that. But, in science empirical evidence is required for a hypothesis to gain acceptance in the scientific community. So even if we accept that Islam is the most logical religion(hypothesis), there is no empirical evidence to vouch for it and make it convincingly better than the competing religions(hypotheses).

In India the extremist Hindus can force M.F. Hussain to leave the country because of his objectionable paintings, but in Bangladesh extremist Muslims will kill Avijit Roy if he doesn't listen to them. In Pakistan, a false rumor spread by an angry Muslim neighbor against a Hindu is enough for the crowd to burn down a Hindu temple whereas in India the Human Rights organizations can do their best to fight the reigning CM and would-be PM (Narendra Modi) accused of abetting riots.

The Muslim population in India has gone up from 9.93% (1951) to 14.88% (2011) but in Bangladesh and Pakistan - countries which had a significant Hindu population when they were created - Hindu population keeps going down.

Declining Hindu population in Bangladesh region
Year Percentage (%)
1941 28.0
1951 22.0
1961 18.5
1974 13.5
1981 12.13
1991 11.62
2001 9.6

In Pakistan too, Hindu population has gone down from 22% (1951) to 1.7% (1998).

This clearly points out the low tolerance levels for other religions in Muslim majority areas whereas the opposite is true for Hindu majority areas. Can anyone imagine a Hindu scholar debating about religions in any Islamic country and speak openly, confidently and without fear about Islam? The Indian ethos has the tolerance to accept the contrasting viewpoints and the prevalent Hindu belief system should be congratulated for it. In brief, the freedom which Dr. Zakir Naik(a Muslim) has, to speak about every religion in India, would not have been possible in any Islamic Country for a non-Muslim.

Again for the sake of argument, let's believe that Islam is the most logical and rational religion. But what is the point of it all if this theory doesn't translate to results. If the terrorists keep coming out of Muslims and keep killing innocents then how can his claims be taken seriously?

Terrorism  - Dr. Zakir Naik in the following video claims that media is behind projecting Muslims as terrorists and it's possible since Muslims are not strong in Media. This is simply running away from a tough question. There are thousands of Muslim leaders openly urging people for Jihad, asking people to take up arms and killing others. How is media responsible for that? As a Hindu I seriously believe that caste system is a big problem and I don't blame media for creating this problem. Similarly, he should introspect and clean up his religion first before blaming the media.

 

In summary, even if we accept his claim that theoretically and rationally Islam is best (for the sake of argument) - there is no evidence to support this claim. If the theory is too complicated for anyone to understand or it is very easy for people to twist the theory to suit their own ends and create Jihadis then this theory is of no use.


Twisting the interpretation - 





In the above video Dr. Naik claims that rigveda book 2 hymn 1 verse 11 mentions Allah. Now the actual verse is here :

तवमग्ने अदितिर्देव दाशुषे तवं होत्रा भारती वर्धसेगिरा |
तवमिळा षतहिमासि दक्षसे तवं वर्त्रहा वसुपते सरस्वती ||

The word is iḷâ which can be pronounced ila but definitely not Allah. According to Sâyana, the most celebrated commentator on the Vedas, iḷâ is the other name of Agni (the deity of fire). Furthermore, the entire Hymn (2/1) has been dedicated to God Agni and hence there is no doubt that the word iḷâ in the verse stands for Agni.

So there is considerable doubt about this claim and many similar ones.

In the end, I must congratulate Dr. Zakir Naik for bringing comparative religious study into limelight. But his claims need to have more empirical substance rather than only theoretical assertions.








Wednesday, April 15, 2015

IPL : Are Indian players useless?

There haven been 9 matches in the IPL so far and it's highly obvious that if a match has to be won - it will be done by a foreign player. 7 out of 9 matches have had a foreigner winning Man of the Match. This is when every team has to have minimum of 7 Indian players in the team.

If IPL had been born and played in England/Australia or any other non-Indian country,  I am not sure how many Indian players would have been bought - if at all they were bought in the first place.

Sunday, April 05, 2015

[Satire] Google rolls out Panchayat level content blocking in Haryana

Search giant Google rolled out a new feature today targeting internet
users in Haryana. Now Sarpanch of a Panchayat will be able to lodge a
complaint against a particular search result or an objectionable video
on YouTube. Google would in turn closely review the complaint to
determine if content should be removed. Though Google already allows
complaints lodged by countries, it is for the first time that such
fine grained geographical complaint system has been rolled out
anywhere in the world.

When asked by UT, a Google spokesperson said, “We have a lot of
employees who are from Haryana. I guess that's because of big number
of IIT-JEE coaching centres in Delhi and Gurgaon. Recently many of
them demanded this feature. They said many Khap Panchayats have banned
Jeans and mobiles for Girls. But when one searches on Google - one can
easily see girls wearing Jeans using mobile phones. Those images and
videos should be blocked in the respective villages which fall under
that Khap Panchayat.”

A Google employee spoke to us on condition of anonymity, "I am from
Haryana and Google should respect our local culture. If Chinese
government or EU asks them something, they happily oblige. Then why
should Khap Panchayats stay behind? Our elders recently declared that
Chowmein is the main reason behind rapes. And the very next day a girl
in our village was cooking Chowmein by watching a recipe video on
YouTube. Not only that, Google is also blocking ads by Sex
Determination Clinics on its search page. Now where do our women go if
they have to abort their female embryo? Isn't it subversion of free
market?"

Google officials were unavailable for comments.

Here is an edited version on The Unreal Times.